- Recognise the need for change
- Reassess your life and your choices
- Remove the negativity
- Surround yourself with positivity
- Self love and kindness
- Live in the now
- Review and reflect
Your life is like your wardrobe. Sometimes, it can get messy. Decluttering is good. Every so often, you need to edit your life as you would with your wardrobe. There may be clothes that no longer fit you or have faded as there would be people or relationship that no longer work in the current phase of your life or you may have lost touch with. There may be clothes that don’t suit you any more as there could be relationships that may not be so healthy for you that need reviewing. Editing your wardrobe could lead you to find a blouse or a scarf you didn’t remember you had that would be perfect for you now, as would discovering new alliances, friendship or a hobby.
Step 1: Recognise the need for change
To do anything successfully, you have got to want to do it. The motivation needs to come from you. You need to see the need for decluttering your life and be compelled to change towards the better. Recognising that you want to change is called an insight. Having an insight into the problem is half the problem solved. Ask yourself, why do you want to change?
Step 2: Reassess your life and your choices
Once you have the motivation to change, the rest of the steps are much easier. Write down a list of things you are not happy with. Assess the choices you made and ask yourself how can you change to make it better suit you. I like mind maps and drawing a mind map can help you see your life better and see the path you are on, where you are heading and how you may want to change certain things.
Things you are unhappy with that you would like to change could be broad but could also be as simple as your morning routine, your dress sense, the way you get to work, your evening down time activity, the amount of alcohol you drink, how much you spend on online shopping and the list goes on.
For example, one of the things I am unhappy with is my ‘morning madness’ when I am about to leave the house. Usually, I am already running late. I get flustered then angry because I can’t find my car keys, I forgot my mobile phone or I left my laptop charger in the house. This then sets a horrible tone for the rest of the day as I get to work upset and angry.
Solution is to get better organised. I could pack my work bag before I head to bed and ensure my iPad, laptop and chargers are in the bag. I could make sure I put the car keys by my coffee mug so I don’t misplace them and go frantic in the morning. I could also stick a check list by the door so I could check I have everything before I leave. Waking up on time and waking up happy is also one of the key solutions.
If you reassess your life and what are unhappy with, you will see that you are able to change them and it is your choice at the end of the day. Sometimes, it might seem like there isn’t much of a choice like being stuck in a dead-end job. You need the job to pay the bills, true, but you can think of ways to change that gradually, say taking up an online course to learn some new skills so you could apply for another job. Think outside the box and reinvent yourself if you must. The choice is yours and yours entirely.
Step 3: Remove the negativity
Now, look into your mind map (if you have drawn one) or think about the things or people that makes you unhappy or sad. Does it need to be part of your life? Does this negative person need to be in your life?
Look around you. Is there something you dislike? The picture on the wall? The tired looking old armchair? Remove it. Remove all the negativity in life or as many as possible. Whether its things, people or your bad choices, change them or remove them. Anything that makes you unhappy, get rid of it!
Step 4: Surround yourself with positivity
It is true that if you surround yourself with happy people, you will feel happy. Surround yourself with things and people that will make you happy. Spend time with the people you love, those who will make you happy and have plenty of time for you. Surround yourself with those you aspire to be. Learn from them and seek their positive energy.
Get a plant in your living room. Change the flow of the room to give you positive energy. Do things that will make you happy and make you feel positive about yourself and your life.
Step 5: Self love and kindness
It’s all about you! If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect others to love you? You need to love yourself and you need to be kind to yourself. You are number one, you are the top of the priority.
Loving yourself is essential and is one of the most important steps in editing your life. Stop blaming yourself for everything in the world. Yes, you may have made a mistake in the past but who amongst us have never sinned? Be kind to yourself and it is okay. Not everything needs to be perfect and you don’t always need to compare yourself with others. Being perfectly imperfect is sometimes okay, too. We all have good and bad days. We can aim to do our best but every now and then, do pat yourself on the back and recognise the great work you have been doing so far.
Self confidence and believing in yourself is just as important. If you trust in your own abilities, that self confidence can propel you much further. How can you expect others to believe you if you don’t believe in yourself? Love yourself, be kind to yourself and trust in you!
Step 6: Live in the now
Sometimes, we keep looking back in the past, regretting, or we are so focused on chasing the future that we forgot to live in the now. Take time each day to appreciate the beauty in everything. Take time to smell the flowers. Take time to watch that ripple in the river.
Living in the now is often forgotten as we get stuck in our daily routine. Make a small change. Walk or cycle to work instead. Take the time to watch the world around you. Spend an extra 15 minutes with your children (with your devices off). Have dinner at the table with your family (yes, you guessed it, with all your devices off) and talk to each other. Spend time with your loved ones and live in the now. Say ‘thank you’ for the things you have always taken granted for. Surprise your loved ones (the good way I mean)!
Appreciate the now because it isn’t coming back. Live your life and see the beauty of life.
Step 7: Review and reassess
Editing your life is a cycle. When you find you are stuck in a rut, or when things are getting messy, just get back on track by reviewing your life and reassessing your choices.
Reviewing and reassessing your life every so often is essential. How often you ask? Well, that depends on you. Don’t forget to live in the now but when things are not quite going your way, get back to the cycle and edit your life.
It is your life. Your life is your choice. Being happy is a choice and it is your choice. You are responsible for your choices but you can make yourself happy and shape your life the way you want it.
Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly, it is your masterpiece after all!
– Margaux –