The political scene in the UK over the past few months is enough uncertainty for the country. Uncertainty is a precarious state. It is almost like having the sword of Damocles hanging over your head, not knowing when it will fall. Dionysius (his king) suspended the sword over Damocles’s head by a single hair to show him the perilous nature of happiness.
Uncertainty hits us all at different points because life itself is unpredictable and changeable. We cannot control it. The effects of uncertainty and how we let it affect us is something we can control.
There are days (many of them in fact) when I awake with palpitations and that sense of impending doom. I have an invisible sword of Damocles that follows me everywhere! That thread is getting thinner every day. I work myself up into an anxiety and panic state without much outside influence even before I walk out of my bedroom door. Anxiety is real and it can really cripple us. I can feel my heart pounding, my hands are sweaty and cold, my body is feeling the chill, I feel light headed and the list goes on. How can one function in this state of dilemma and panic? I have battled many demons and there are still demons coming after me, such is the nature of life.
Learning to control yourself is the key. Hence, the blog to edit your life. Everything is a choice, even if it is a limited choice. Accept that you cannot control the outside world, you cannot control others, their attitude, their behaviour and you cannot control life. What you can control is you. You can control how you feel, how you think, how you see and how you react.
Once you have accepted that you cannot control others but yourself you can then reflect on how you react, how you see, how you feel, how you think and how you are letting the outside stimuli affect you. This process is producing an insight so you can see more clearly who you are and how you can control you and be a happy and contented you.
Say, you go into a local shop and asked for a bottle of sparkling water. The shopkeeper snapped at you, “Can’t you see I am busy? It’s in the fridge! Go get it yourself!!”
The usual me would easily snap back and bite his head off! There will then be a shouting match or even a fight if things got messy. These days, you never know what people might do in a state of anger. If you look back at the scenario, there are a few things you could control.
You could choose to walk away and leave the shop. He may be having a bad day. Leave it at that and move on. Or you might decide to get your bottle, pay for it and leave without involving yourself in that scenario. The thing to remember here is to choose what and which stimulus you allow into your life. As you can see, you do not have to confront the shopkeeper and you can choose to walk away. It is your choice. You can control your actions and reactions even if you cannot control his behaviour.
Back to uncertainty, it is the same. You cannot control the world or life itself but you can control you and how you handle what life throws at you. Meditation can be helpful to collect your thoughts and have some time for you. When life is going at a pace of 200 miles per hour, sometimes you do need to have a quick break to refuel and recharge you. Running is another one of my ‘meditations’.
The period of waking up is crucial to setting the pace and tone for the day. Set an alarm that you like not an annoying noise that will make annoyed and be grumpy when you awake. What you see, feel, touch and hear is that first few minutes of awakening is crucial so set it up to ensure that your awakening period is smooth and zen. Select a playlist of calming music to start with and gradually add more happy tunes. Stretch and take deep breaths. You can do this and remind yourself of how amazing you are and how far you have come. Place your feet on the ground, feel yourself rooting into the ground and connected to the core of the world, this is grounding. Some people prefer to do this on actual grass but it doesn’t matter, even if it is on carpet 6 storeys up in an apartment. Feel and know that you are grounded and unshakable. Continue with the deep, relaxing breaths. Pace yourself to the bathroom and look at the amazing you, staring back, despite the bed hair and lack of make up. Look into your own eyes, and see that amazing person staring back. You know you are loved, you are amazing and you can do this.
If you are more organised and have the time, then plan an extra half hour before your actual waking up time to meditate. Have a warm glass of water with lemon and ginger, to kick start the morning, optional coffee afterwards of course.
Choosing to be happy, choosing to love yourself are the core steps towards a better life. I know you are amazing and I know you can do this because you are loved! Love yourself first and foremost, always!
– Margaux –