We are 12 days into 2019. Many of us have over indulged over the festive period and we are all in the detox mode. Whether it’s a dry January or no carb January or just a simple diet change, detox is often helpful and important towards a healthy lifestyle. Digital detoxing from social media and your devices is equally important. I love the new feature of a weekly screen time report. I have also set myself (small steps) a small goal to switching off digitally for an hour on alternate days when I am having some ME time.
Detox is healthy. It helps us to identify what is toxic to begin with. Over indulgence can be harmful even if something is not particularly toxic or damaging to begin with. My task today is to detox from toxic, unhealthy and damaging relationships and people.
Remember the BFF who’s going through a divorce and calling quite a few times a day complaining about her settlement, her dog, her bags, her soon to be ex-husband, his new 20 something replacement etc. Of course, it is a traumatic time for her. I do care for her but it can be draining for me too. I know I am a source of outlet for her to vent, but I can control and limit the extent of my involvement before it becomes damaging and toxic for me. I could hardly get a word in sometimes and she just rants for half an hour! She needs to rant, that I get, but I can control when I will be there for her and when I need some ‘me time’.
Now, there are also some people on my list who will only call or text when they need something. We all have those fair-weather friends and the parasitic ‘friends’ too. Fair-weather friends are relatively symbiotic. A parasitic relationship however is unhealthy and can be damaging. The relationship is not healthy because one party is literally sucking out the life of the other. You usually find it draining after a short period of time with them, the energy suckers, the negative people who have nothing to offer but it is always all about them. It is okay to walk away from such parasitic relationship.
I am looking at my contact list on my phone and as I scroll down the list I look at the people who matter to me; those I love, I care for and those who have been hurtful and damaging. It is not easy but identifying such toxic relationships is step one to detoxing your life. Knowing and acknowledging that these are the toxic people, sparks a tiny little neurotransmitter in your brain to recognise and begin the process of having an insight. I am choosing to delete some of these people and detox from them. Once you have the insight, you can choose to limit your time with such people if you cannot yet take the step to delete them completely. However, thinking you can fix someone else is never going to work, it is hard enough to fix yourself! One step at a time and no matter how small that step is, you are making progress. Detoxing from unhealthy relationships is a positive step. It is your life and you control who is in it. The choice is yours!