Let It Go

I was driving in the car with my son today. We turned into a two-way street. This taxi driver drove onto my side of the road and refused to move. He gave me an insouciant look. He didn’t barge. If it were my husband driving, the driver probably would not have done that. It is pretty much still a man’s world out there sometimes. In the end, I reversed and drove away. I was rather upset. The usual me would have been cursing and swearing at the driver. Instead, I took a deep breath in, counted to ten and said, “Let it go”.

This mantra of letting it go started yesterday after a rather unpleasant phone call with a former colleague. She wanted sympathy but it was not a competition of seeing whose life was more traumatic or dramatic, we all have our own stories but spinning tales and spreading rumours just isn’t correct. I started having palpitations and just could not carry on the conversation. I knew I had to end the call. I let it go, wished her all the very best and bid her goodbye.

I was shaken by the call but that call made me realise how I allow someone else to affect me, not just with this call but everyday with every single interaction, I have allowed others to affect how I feel, allowing them to control my emotions, and ultimately my life! How did I allow this to happen?

I needed to do some soul searching. I needed to think. I took some ‘me time’, switched everything off and of course informed my husband I was safe and just needed some time to rethink life. I went for a run. Running is my way of meditating although I do meditate sometimes too. I find running works for me, everything becomes clear and all the bad thoughts are purged. I try to run 2-3 times a week. 

On this run, I thought to myself and played all the recent events over and over in my mind and how it could have been different and what I could have changed to make a difference. Then it strikes me, the only thing I could change and I could control is ME! That would surely change the outcome because if I did not react badly, I would not feel so awful. It’s not to say that I don’t feel emotions but to actually own the emotions and acknowledge the emotions but to say I can let it go because I have done my best and my conscience is clear. Owning and acknowledging the emotions but not letting it affect me and change my mood.

Yes, it was an unpleasant experience. It isn’t nice to be spoken to in such manner and to have others spread rumours about you. However, you cannot change them or control them. It is upsetting but there is no need to let it affect your day or your life. Their motive is to get you down, so why let them win? Acknowledge that it is upsetting but let it go, it is beyond your control. You can however, change and control your behaviour, your belief, your thinking, your mood, your day and your life. You are responsible for your own life and stop letting others control your emotions and your life. Learn to let it go and the world will suddenly be a different place because you will see it for what it is not what others are trying to make you see. 

– Margaux –

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